Some girls are just born with glitter in their veins

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5 weeks

March 20, 2014 Love4JLK

5 weeks today. 5 weeks since I last touched you or felt your hand in mine… 5 weeks since I got to look in your eyes and feel them looking back in mine. That sums up how I felt today. I just missed her.. simply. totally.  We decided to take the kids to a new […]

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Glittery knowledge

March 19, 2014 Love4JLK

Music. Today was a day of music and songs. Both things important to Jennifer. She made up her own songs and she loved to sing along with ones we were listening to. We have been continuing the sticker charts for the boys. Even though last night wasn’t a stellar performance we took them out for breakfast […]

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slap

March 18, 2014 Love4JLK

Words take on new meaning..thoughts can sometimes slap me in the face. Tony is out with a friend tonight. The boys are pretty much refusing to go to sleep. But now behaving well enough so I am blogging. A little bit ago though Nicholas was pushing it. My first thought was to jokingly text Tony […]

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powerless

March 17, 2014 Love4JLK

Today was a day of opposites. Of highs and lows. This morning I woke up. And missed her still. A continuation of the longing I felt last night. I strapped on my shoes and went for a run. It wasn’t a good run though. It was slow and hot .. As I ran I realized […]

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calling

March 16, 2014 Love4JLK

I’m trying to follow that little voice inside my head a lot more lately. I would have used to call it my gut instinct… but now I attribute it to more than that. I had been finding little things that reminded me of one of Jennifer’s little friends…and her mom…We had. . well fallen apart […]

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foggy

March 15, 2014 Love4JLK

Fog. I feel like I am living in a fog  .. Like is this all real? Sometimes it feels like I am looking at somebody else’s life..and so hard to admit “out loud” sometimes it even feels like its somebody else’s daughter. Like it cant really be that my daughter died. I don’t know how […]

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FYI

March 14, 2014 Love4JLK

I have mastitis and feel really horrible so I am not blogging tonight. But I did want to say so many people ask/comment that they aren’t sure if knowing strangers care and are reading helps… It does. I can’t adequately explain why…. But it does and thank you.

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normalcy

March 13, 2014 Love4JLK

In the middle of the night 1 month ago… Last night was harder than today in most ways. I sobbed…body racking sobs. Going to bed I went to her room. I talked to her…and cried with her…But I decided to sleep in my own bed. Heavy sleep found me.. . Like my body just needed […]

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beating

March 12, 2014 Love4JLK

A month and a day ago…this was me…this was us Because a month ago right now..I was holding her. Waiting for her to die. I didn’t blog. I think most people knew when there was no new blog a month ago today…that her time was coming… fast …too fast. Nursing the baby to bed tonight […]

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enough

March 11, 2014 Love4JLK

This was us… just A month ago.. yet also a lifetime ago…her lifetime.. Today however was actually ok. First therapy appointment. Went well. We will have separate appointments in the next week. Paperwork… .. . how many children living in your home? I teared up. and got somehow really nervous about what to write. I […]

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