Some girls are just born with glitter in their veins

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real

February 16, 2014 Love4JLK

It doesn’t seem real at all.  It feels like she is just sleeping. . .or hanging out at my parents house. I was so constantly busy taking care of her since Oct28th I keep feeling like I am forgetting to do something. I’m not. She doesn’t need me anymore. . .quite the opposite. I so […]

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time

February 15, 2014 Love4JLK

Sitting here 2 days after she is gone. Too much to do. I know I can get help. .. But I need to plan her services. I need to pick the songs. I need to speak. And by need I mean want.. . . . .but then when can I grieve for her? I find […]

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services

Love4JLK

Services. ..celebration of life.  . whatever we end up calling it will be Friday the 21st. at Valley Christian High school in San Jose at 10:30 a.m. Reception will follow at the same location. Children are welcomed. Clothing. This one really matters to me. Wear whatever you want. Wear what you feel best in. Or […]

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no word

February 14, 2014 Love4JLK

I can’t stop crying. And thinking. SO much inside me desperate to pour out. I try to go on facebook to numb my mind. And I see her everywhere and I am thankful. So eternally thankful. . . . and gutted. And scared for it to end. One day everybody will start to move on. […]

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forever 6

Love4JLK

7 children died today from cancer. My child wasn’t one of them. She is already dead. I will blog about the 24 hours leading up to her death. But that will be one I keep just for me. Here though moments . . memories will come up I will share you as they do. Firstly […]

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wasn’t but is

February 12, 2014 Love4JLK

Yesterday 7 children died from cancer. ….my child wasn’t one of them. Today 7 children will die from cancer. My daughter is one of them. She gifted me her first and her last breath. . . and so many beautiful ones in between.

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comfortable

February 11, 2014 Love4JLK

Pain. Big pain  . . real pain this morning. Upped her morphine…I think its doubled. Sleeping all day. Hospice says she is comfortable. . . stable. I hope so. I worry she is screaming inside at me. Something she is needing or wanting. And I am not answering her call for me. I’m so sorry […]

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perfect

February 10, 2014 Love4JLK

One of my favorite parts of the last few days is reading books with her. I wish I had realized sooner how much she would still enjoy them. I read til my throat hurts or she motions to be done. Tonight we read together with Daddy. But we used picture albums I had made for […]

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questions

February 9, 2014 Love4JLK

Is she winding down….??? Is it the meds???? We seriously have no idea. I think it must sound crazy that we care but we do. Tonight we talked about if we have warning. What will we do…what do we want to do with Charlotte. And our boys. I asked Tony how I am supposed to […]

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challenges

February 8, 2014 Love4JLK

This morning was a rough start. I gave her 5am meds but was a little lazy and didnt space things out the way I should have. . . and we needed to change the bed so we moved her. All of these things combined meant she threw up… pretty quickly after getting the meds in. […]

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